When Lists Become Too Much

It was too much. Just too much for me to handle. Schedules, charts and lists…..It had become too much for me.

I had become pregnant with my forth child and was put on a different blood pressure medication.  We also had other issues to deal with and I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I gave up.

Gave up on what?    Housekeeping.    I gave up on housekeeping. I gave up on checking chore charts to make sure things had gotten done. I offered no accountability to my children on their specific chores. Two of the children were old enough to do things around the house but I couldn’t seem to offer any direction at this point.

I gave up on a cleaning schedule. I’ve gone longer than I care to admit without mopping the floors and cleaning toilets.

I gave up on a school schedule and I gave up on my to-do lists. It just took too much emotional energy to keep up with it all. So,  I let it all go and we switched to survival mode, BIG TIME.

Things felt hopeless, I felt hopeless.  Some of this, I believe, was due to the blood pressure medication I was taking.  I slept all the time. I would sleep all night and then could sleep most of the day. I was also put on bed rest the last few weeks of the pregnancy, so I tried to homeschool lying on the couch. At the time I had no idea why I felt so wiped out. Now looking back, I’m positive it was the medication. I believe it also altered my way of thinking. That’s when feelings of being overwhelmed and hopelessness crept in. I didn’t associate all of this with the medication until after I had the baby. There were also other issues we were dealing with at the time, issues I will post about in the future.

So, now the baby is two and a half years old and we have not fully recovered from the hiatus I took; that is until last Sunday. Sunday night I went to bed thinking…..It’s too much ~ Just too much for me to handle. The chaos, absolutely no organization….Where are those charts and lists?

WE NEED A SCHEDULE!

You might think that you would feel free without a schedule but in reality, you feel trapped. Trapped because things get so out of hand you are stuck or trapped in survival mode. You have no free time to accomplish anything other than the necessary duties.

Last night, right before going to bed, I pulled out chore charts that are 2 years old. I showed these to the kids and they said, “Oh yeah, I remember those” and I responded, “See, I told you we used to have chore charts.” It had been so long, our 9 year old didn’t really remember having the charts. SAD! I promised myself I would take the time the next morning to revamp the charts (dynamics of our home has changed since our 18 year old does not live with us now). Instead of dividing chores between three kids, we are down to two kids who can do chores, so I had to redo the chores. It’s been rough this week getting back to the charts, but we are going to do this!

As for schedules…well, I can be super relaxed about schedules. I have tried different schedules in the past. Some of these schedules have really worked well for us. The problem is, I can get off track so easily because, let’s face it, life happens. We have to be flexible. My problem is, I’m too flexible.  When the schedule is broken, it takes so much emotional energy and focus to get back on the schedule, it’s easy for me to say,  “Just forget it! Plans are made to be broken, right?”

Our Daily & Weekly Chore Charts. Some of these may change, but you have to start somewhere...
Our new daily & weekly chore charts hanging on the fridge.  These may change, but you have to start somewhere…

I have finally figured out that not having a schedule doesn’t work well for us. No matter how much focus and energy it takes to get back on track when we get off track, it is still much better to stay within the realm of a general schedule than not to have one at all.  At the end of the day, I feel quite frustrated because I do not see the productivity I would like to see in our school and the housework. I end up feeling inadequate, feeling like a failure as a wife, mom, and I feel like I’m failing my kids as their educator.  My family desperately needs a schedule. Not a rigid schedule, but a least a general schedule to keep us mostly on track 🙂

Now, let’s talk about housekeeping.  Honestly, this has always been an area that I’ve always struggled in. I’m not extremely neat and tidy. Things out of place do not tend to bother me ….until it just gets way out of hand. I’m not sure why I’m that way. My mom is a great housekeeper. Things just didn’t click with me for some reason when it came to housekeeping. Over the years I had gotten better at it though. Our house was usually presentable for company and if we had a little warning before someone came by, we could get it looking really good within a few minutes. For the past two years, I would need a week to get our home presentable.

It’s been long enough.   This has to change.    I can do better.

This will be hard for me but my family deserves it. I have to do it for my family. I am determined to do this. With setting this blog up, homeschooling, being a wife & mother, keeping our house livable, it’s been hard, a nightmare actually.

I am posting this today because I know there are other people out there struggling with these same issues. I want to go to bed at night feeling like I’ve accomplished something. I am posting this because I need to be held accountable. I plan to post more on getting back on track in the future and would love for you to hold me accountable!

Have you ever gotten off track? What things have you done to get back on track? I would love for you to share your ideas with us.

 

Amanda

Amanda

You'll catch Amanda at mendedandblended.com writing about her
family's journey of being mended and blended together by the thread of the Word of God. They are a homeschooling family on this journey with 4 children talking about real life andseeking to encourage others.
Amanda
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4 thoughts on “When Lists Become Too Much

  1. Hey Renee,

    I came over on Modest Mom today to find your post.

    And, I understand how you feel about lists, chores, responsibilities, and keeping house! It can get overwhelming at time, can’t it!

    Can I encourage you to give yourself a little grace today? You have 4 kids! You are homeschooling! You are busy!

    Now that my kids are in college, I can look back with a little bit of perspective. Enjoy the kids! Love the family! That house will survive if it’s not perfect!!

    Praying God will give you joy and much grace today~
    Blessings,
    Melanie

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